She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize