Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
no more duck duck goose at the bar
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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