You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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