So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
