We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I would ride that face into the sunset
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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