Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
