At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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