The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
