You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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