hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize