You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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