i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
