found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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