i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
