I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
