dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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