its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
