Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
