Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
