Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
