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I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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