I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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