2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
