..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
