My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
