Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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