Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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