Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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