"it" just moved
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
