This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
