I want to have your abortion
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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