I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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