You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
