the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Randomize
