I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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