First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
that's an acceptable place to lick
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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