I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I am available for nakedness
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
