So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this boner is exhausting
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
