It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
