Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
