Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
