Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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