God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
