went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
