i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
