I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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