I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
