I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
