Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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