if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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