I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
