my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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