It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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