My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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