There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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