If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
