she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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