just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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