What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
