think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
