Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
