you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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