I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
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