wrigley field is MILF paradise
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Randomize
