i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize