dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
