But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize