They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
