I wanna bring you to show and tell
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
