I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
