I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
