Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
