Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
