Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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