fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
