Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
