Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
