Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
