I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
MIDGETS
????
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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