This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize