Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
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