I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
