My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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