doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
